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October 21, 2007

Self-identification

Given my previous experience as publisher and pre-editor of Joseph Tanenbaum’s book, Male & Female Realities: Understanding the Opposite Sex, I’m really curious about self-identification—especially after reading Tyrell Kumlih on Susan Savage-Rumbaugh’s Apes that write, start fires and play Pac-Man from TED.com.

Inclusive and Exclusive

Females seem to have great difficulty in deciding who they are. Perhaps that’s part of the reason that women’s behavior is so erratic and partially the reason they are considered inclusive. There seems to be a part of every person and everything within our physiological makeup and beyond. Or not.

Perhaps the feminine dilemma of finding out “who am I?” is partly because we have to expand our consciousness to house our inclusive natures, i.e., so many realms from which to choose.

The practically opposite male reality of exclusivity is based on and from a particular spot in their physical anatomy (and not from the spot you may be thinking of at the moment!). The spot could be likened to the center point of an imaginary but definitive and controllable circle. Everything perceived within the circle relates to the spot and represents who he is.

Males are most comfortable when the spot is in a neutral state and undisturbed. In contrast with females, males must venture from the safety of the spot to interact with others allowed inside the circle. This mental and sometimes physical activity consumes the male energy. Then they have to contract their consciousness from the edge of the circle back to the spot (expending more energy) from where their physical reality began. The spot lets them know where they are, and because they’re “there,” it matters not “who” they are in the grander scheme of things, i.e., beyond the boundaries of the circle.

The spot is most often located in the chest, pit of the stomach, or the head; and “Gut feel” or “hunch” or “twang” are words used by males to identify the bodily sensations they experience as feelings.

Females interpret their signals differently. “A sense” or “a feeling” or “a knowing,” seemingly emitting from the ethers, seem to pulsate around and through them, but through which they must move while interacting within. Female language skills, even though supposedly more developed than males’, reflects the inability to explain or describe a physical cause, location, or probable outcome.

Mirror Training

For humans, self-identification comes at an early age, generally before the toddler stage. Mommy holds her child in front of a mirror and excitedly proclaims “that’s you!” as she points or taps the mirror image and then touches the child’s body, repeating the connection over and over until she’s certain that the child understands. If ever you’ve watched this process, you may recall the look on the child’s face when comprehension dawned—fear and uncertainty leaving the eyes, the face beginning to smile or impishly smirks. But I doubt the child turned away, except to re-orient itself, then to take another look at the mirror to see if Mommy and child were still there.

Other animals however, when exposed to the same experiment, just don’t get it and probably never will. Instead, they see another animal. Perhaps that’s why humans are the self-proclaimed prime species, even though we don’t act like it sometimes.

Our hypocritical thinking, especially in the esoteric sense of “we are all one,” just doesn’t equate with self-identification. Instead, we identify ourselves by dogma, agreement, and belonging; and blatantly ignore the teachings of great masters who mastered “self” by their inclusive compassion for and identification with all.

With the advent of global television, humans of all ages are beginning to see through the electronic mirror what humans are really like—that we all have the same feelings which keep us emoting—whether “right or wrong” in our choice of direction: Fearful or secure, angry or joyous, sad or happy, betrayed or supported, confused or certain, insignificant or important, hopeless or encouraged, guilty or innocent, hated or loved, violent or peaceful, weak or strong. Then we also begin to realize that we use our feelings to judge others, momentarily forgetting that we are one—one human family.

Where Am I?

When looking at a group photo, whose image do we first seek? Our own! Self-identification provides assurance that we exist. But if we don’t know how we feel, or have limited knowledge about the differences in the definitions of our feelings, we end up with erroneous perceptions of the world around us and the people in it.

Unfortunately, too many of our brothers’ and sisters’ identities are left out of the group picture of the human family, or worse, not included in the album at all. Therefore, I’m including below a list of feelings that we all have, but often fail to identify. Perhaps when we know ourselves better through our examination of our feelings, we’ll come to know, empathize, and more deeply appreciate others in our circular, sectarian world.