Introduction to Albeit Newsletters
[albeit: conceding the fact that : even though : although]
I’ve been an insatiable student, avid fan, and observant groupie of all things gender since my world was changed for the better upon attending Joseph Tanenbaum’s Male and Female Reality Workshops in the late ‘70s.
Initially my interest in gender differences was selfishly based on the benefits I would hopefully gain and then apply in my relationships. I received much more than I paid for—but not enough timely information to rescue my marriage. Nonetheless, I think of my life thus far in terms of ‘before MFR’ and ‘after MFR’—just slightly comparable to A.D. and B.C., the biblical pivotal point used to denote a previous era from the current era.
With zeal and determination following my divorce, I embarked on my self-appointed quest to figure out how gender differences affected all levels of human and other species’ interactions. I figured it was too late for me, but I might be able to help others if I could only find the ‘constant’ in the lop-sided equation. It’s been a fearful yet entertaining journey, and the challenge of unlearning to re-learn has accompanied me daily.
One day after years of wandering my theoretical female desert in search of unbiased gender information, I hit one rock escarpment too many.
At last I realized, that according to statistics and history (and all those other man-made things I relied on and trusted in to make things right once answers to my questions were known), my trust had long been misplaced in men, in their institutions, and in their systems.
False cause for the world’s problems seemed to be assigned by men to anyone and everything but men. However, like most women and girls, I was always in line to accept more than my share of blame, shame, fault or guilt before rushing off to fix myself accordingly.
Still doubtful of my own causal search, trustworthy signs at last appeared in 2003 to confirm that I was on the right track: Something is drastically out of balance in the global gender picture! Viewing the pie charts on my Home Page is worth thousands of words, yet I grieve that they represent millions of marginalized, subjugated, and ostracized women and girls waiting or working for men to do something about it. Not likely to happen.
I am not a proponent of women ‘taking over,’ nor do I think women and girls will ever be ‘equal’ with men and boys unless biological and gender roles are reversed. Not likely to happen. But it is possible to vision our future global family where balance can be achieved through mutual understanding, compassion, and respect for both genders. I’ve also relearned that it can be quite fun getting to know someone you thought you knew.
Sooner or later the world will have to confront, accept, and honor the differences in gender realities, expressly for our survival. In the meantime we can teach and learn more positive ways for the perpetuation and benefit of our species. The sure-to-be necessary changing of minds, leadership, and systems to accommodate the long-forgotten feminine side of the human family will quickly rise to the top of global agendas, but the rocky road we must travel can only be smoothed by information, cooperation, and perseverance.
Statistics and historical hindsight reveal that the world’s problems have been caused almost exclusively by men. At last, the ‘constant’ emerges as the forest rather than a single tree. Yes, there have been a few women wielders of swords, but mockingly scant compared to the armies of our brothers. If it’s true that men are the crux, then men can fix the problems—if someone can convince them that the world outside their world is broken.
That may be a difficult task, given the generally-accepted, “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” To the male way of thinking the pie charts tend to indicate that the world ain’t broke for men. The almost twin circles verify and seem to approve of the “what’s in it for me” and the “last man standing is the winner” mindsets. Of course the winner gets all the land, all the gold, all the women, and all the glory—isn't this every man's dream?
Women and girls have dreams too—of a safe and sustainable planet for our children. Yet men and boys most often refuse to take a new look at old patterns that keep both women and men needlessly mired in their separate molds. This casting has been accomplished primarily due to the acquiescence of women, and to such an extent that boys and now girls are being taken from loving arms and placed in warriors’ trenches.
Albeit, the XY genetic code is often impenetrable, male contributions to humanity have been phenomenally generous and miraculous. From the depths of the ocean floor to deep space exploration to typing on this keyboard, the masculine reality has truly accomplished dominion. Our species owes our lives and our thanks to them, but no more than to the women who birthed us all and taught us to read. The world has benefited greatly from masculine achievements and is at last, out of desperation, beginning to learn from some of their mistakes. And ladies, we must learn from ours.
During my quest for gender knowledge, I found a trail of tears, blood, and bones belonging to far too many women and girls who have been sacrificed on the male altars and sidelines of battlefields. There seems to be no end to our exclusion, only a hastening towards our potential extinction.
And yet I must defend the males’ rights and realms, while vociferously requesting they do the same for females.’ Our human genetic diversity—a result of cooperation—is in grave peril as a result of unnecessary killing and un-natural deaths, and the worst is yet to come.
Nature or nuclear will eventually gloss our lips with its fury in our last heated good-bye kiss as Earthling to Earthling. It’s evident from other statistical sources that our psyches are dis-eased as well, given that approximately one-third of our population is on anti-depressant drugs, and now pharmaceutical companies are racing to capture the troubled teenagers’ market.
Yes, some ambitious and resourceful women and girls have come a long way in the past two centuries, but is this where we stalwarts want to be? Bars on our windows… bolts and locks on our doors… living in fear… watching other moms’ babies with big brown eyes die on our televisions… hiding from a progressively cruel male population… dieting daily while witnessing hunger whittle its way into our own communities… creating starving margins around the world, most whom are women and girls?
I confess I had to renounce my allegiance to many previous beliefs once I realized the negated and neutralized state of the worlds’ women and how we got that way. My struggle in doing so paled in light of the effects of daily global female realities, now available for mourning in living color and living surround-sound in my living room.
Even though we women have managed to chameleon our way into most male arenas by distorting but cleverly adapting our reality to theirs, our entry has been on their terms, in their time and at our and our children's expense. Societies are just beginning to realize what a costly detour we’ve taken from reason and natural gender roles.
History and his stats have proven we should no longer depend on male protection or providence. Once our heroes during the time of Wooly Mammoths, the endless bands of warriors have since become our wardens. However, we must set ourselves free, we must end on our own the perpetual state of inconsequence in which we hunker, and claim our rightful place in the human family.
The permanently displayed pie charts on my Home Page will be my reminders as to our progress, but I don’t think they’ll noticeably change over the next decade. I’ll wager however that the fortitude and stamina of women will get us back to where we should’ve always been—the other crucial and just-as-deserving half of our species’ survival team.
I hope to present accurate information, passionate dialogue, non-judgmental suggestions, endless ‘how-to’ tips, win-win solutions and my kitchen sink if that’s what it takes to get women and girls included in the human family circle. Your feedback will help immensely—just click Email Lynne on any page of my primary web site.
In conclusion, the intent of my website is to contribute to the balancing of the global gender scales for the sake of humanity through mutually beneficial changes in our thinking, actions, and desired results. A Course in Miracles says, “Teach what you would learn.” Therein and herein dwells the essence of me.
© 2007 Lynne Sims
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